February 2012
28 posts
So Tonight I auditioned to be in a a really rad...
and they just emailed me and told me I MADE IT!!! I’m so so so so so so so so so so so excted
And when the nervous feeling is over, gone, dissipated, disappeared, vanished, and dead… I’ll tread a little lighter on ballpoint toes, not wanting to draw attention to the picture postcard fingernails, that seek to scratch my initials somewhere.
And just remember that it was you, not me, who took the breath out of my fists the first time.
THIS WEEKEND
I’m bringing Mason Bees to campus!!
And as tired eyes slip to my tired thighs, your tired sighs still hug tight to my tired lies.
Today a man,
Told me I had a beautiful soul, while I was waiting for the street car. While still absorbing what he had just told me, he proceeded to turn to the tree next to him, and offer it a bus ticket. I will always wonder, If he knows how much his words meant to me.
While attempting to tutor my 2nd graders today… We played ‘Guess how old Mason is.”
“Mason, I think you are 30”
“No he’s not! He has to be 22. I can see it in his eyes.”
Me - “My eyes…?”
“NO! You’re Sevente-“
“Mason!”
“Mason as long as you’re under 85 you are still young.”
Me -...
Just hung a disco light from my ceiling. So much tape. Estimated Time of Project: 30 minutes SO WORTH IT!
Blue skies & blue eyes.
Green grasses & green stained pants. Dark dirt & dirtied hands. Cold air & cold shoulders. Clear water & clear intentions.
On and on the reflecting paper of acrimonious thoughts curl, lending themselves to the limbs that refuse to put thought into action. My fingers itch to break a wooden pencil that spell-check cannot correct. Put saw dust in my eyes.
February 12th
And on the days when I don’t speak, do not speak for me.
noooooooooooooooooooooooo
Someone stole my spoon during the party i had in my room last night… They better be good at hiding because that is my favorite spoon and i will hunt them down.
So go ahead and consume the ideas and words and liquids and solids and objects and people that you think will help you, while I consume myself.
February 9th
They told me you were good at sewing. I knew it was true. When I asked you to sew me some patches, you didn’t refuse. You couldn’t refuse. You sewed patches over my worn elbows, sewed patches onto my bruises. You sewed patches over my tears - you even sewed a button to my belly. Before I knew it, you were mending things that I thought couldn’t be mended. You sewed patches of...
February 8th
And now when I look at my hands I don’t see wrinkles or lines anymore. I just see a sloppy mess of paint-marks that are covered with flesh and blond hair. You told me once that you thought my hands were beautiful - but ever since you told me that you don’t want to see me again, I started wondering what to do with my palms. I press them into my desk, into my thighs, into the skies,...
Applying to go abroad for Seville, Spain spring semester of sophomore year!!!
There is a certain kind of freedom
you get, When you lose your voice from screaming. I am still screaming. Always trying, to lose it.
Quote of the week:
*reading my name tag*
“You’re name is Mason? Wait… MANSION? Do you have lots of doors? Are you made of doors? Where are your doors? Why are you a MANSION?”
- My 2nd grade student named Autumn.
I got accepted on the New Orleans Alternative Spring Break Trip!! So excited. And my roommate, Ted, is going with me. YES.
January 31st
Today I had my first day of work. During recess, two little girls decided the best way to pass the next 20 minutes was by playing their new game called, “Annoy Mason.” In this game you; get all of your friends, scream - “Annoy Mason!”, and march in a circle around the said person - named Mason. Oh and also, they would pause randomly and scream, “You’re a creepy...
January 2012
52 posts
Progress
don’t regress.
Working as a tutor and teaching assistant for 2nd graders and Capitol Hill Elementary School! Super excited. I can’t wait to start my job.
Eating mac n’ cheese and listening to the fantastic mr. fox soundtrack. dinner alone is good sometimes.
Listen.
The only time I find myself listening to a room full of people, is when I’m told to be quiet. I begin to hear things that are usually smothered by the incessant babble of humanity. I hear my heart beat. I hear people clearing their throats, wishing to be heard. The sound of electricity reaches me, People moving, people breathing, people sniffing, pages turning, cars driving, foot steps,...
And when I pressed my palms to my blue stained eye lids in search of darkness, all i ever find is light.
Might get a job as an elementary school tutor. yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
It doesn't have to be beautiful
But most of the time it usually is
See you.
See… I look up. I look up into your eyes now, Just like I always used to.
And… and you’ll look back at me. But not like you used to. There is a hostility in your soul now, just a little bit. And if it isn’t enough that I can see it, - see the redness and the anger - I can feel it. It’s awful, you know? That the connection between two hands can be cut by a blade of...
Even Mozart loved cats.
Excerpt from a letter by Daines Barrington:
“Witness as I was myself of most of these extraordinary
facts, I must own that I could not help suspecting his father
imposed with regard to the real age of the boy, though he had not
only a most childish appearance, but likewise had all the actions of
that stage of life.
For example, whilst he was playing to me, a favourite cat
came in,...
Today my spanish professor pretended she had an alter ego that spoke english. but she had to pause class, go out of the room and re-enter when ever she switched to speaking a different language.
MLK
Today I volunteered to help out at Roosevelt High School, in Portland, on Martin Luther King Jr. day. I learned that Roosevelt High was one of the most ethically diverse schools, and the poorest high school in Portland. Enrollment rates, graduation rates, and test scores were all on the downfall. But these past few years, the students have begun to rally themselves and turn everything around for...
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.
Seeing eternity isn’t that hard when I look at you.
Day #I Stopped Counting Days
ecumenicalwoods:
Days flew by like wings in your eyes. Corneas collide in a flurry of “I Missed This”
Standing in a circle.
The most safe and secure I’ve felt for a long time, Was when I stood in the arms of my mother and brother, and I cried.
Everything keeps flowing.
Where is the time going.
