Changeforchange

2 hours ago

January 31st

Today I had my first day of work. During recess, two little girls decided the best way to pass the next 20 minutes was by playing their new game called, “Annoy Mason.” In this game you; get all of your friends, scream - “Annoy Mason!”, and march in a circle around the said person - named Mason. Oh and also, they would pause randomly and scream, “You’re a creepy old lady!”.

This is going to be the best job ever.

1 day ago

Clickity-clackity calamities come colliding of your eloquent tongue.
Most people are impressed by you.
And yet… I hear nothing but the squeak of a well oiled jaw.

Notes: 1 / 1 day ago

Progress

don’t regress.

Notes: 2 / 4 days ago

Working as a tutor and teaching assistant for 2nd graders and Capitol Hill Elementary School! Super excited. I can’t wait to start my job.

Notes: 25578 / 4 days ago from somewhatgolden (originally from goodtrip4us)

Notes: 2 / 5 days ago

Eating mac n’ cheese and listening to the fantastic mr. fox soundtrack.
dinner alone is good sometimes.

Notes: 3 / 6 days ago

Listen.

The only time I find myself listening to a room full of people,
is when I’m told to be quiet.

I begin to hear things that are usually smothered by the incessant babble of humanity.
I hear my heart beat.
I hear people clearing their throats, wishing to be heard.
The sound of electricity reaches me,
People moving, people breathing, people sniffing, pages turning, cars driving, foot steps, pencils writing, clicking, rustling, snapping, cracking, cracking, cracking, cracking.

I being to hear things without my ears.
I hear the exasperation of the boy who looks to the ceiling for inspiration.
I hear the hope in the touch of a girls hug.
I hear the exhaustion resonating in my brothers shoulders.
I hear my mother thinking about me.
I hear the disappointment in my fathers eyes.
I hear the way you look at me.
I… hear you.
Which is funny because I usually do such a good fucking job of blocking you out.
But the scary part is,
I think I hear me too.
I can hear the river of emotions directly behind my sternum.

And what I used to think is silence is so filled with everything else,
So much so that I begin to click my pencil repeatedly.
I don’t like hearing my heart beat…
It reminds me that I have one.

6 days ago

I’ve reached one of those

moments in my life,
where I am ready to let go of every little fucking thing.

Let go of the past.
The past will never change.
My mind gets drunk off of its own sadness, I need to be sober of my past.

Let go of the future.
The future is not something I can control.
Why divide the indivisible?

Let go of myself.
I am a force that cannot be restrained any longer.
I am sick of the cords of promises that shackle my hands and feet.

Let go of all the fucking pain.
Why do we hold on to that which hurts us?
I’m sick of clutching and drinking the beer bottles you give me that stink of misery and sweat.

I want to let it go.
Let it shatter.

Notes: 1 / 6 days ago

And when I pressed my palms to my blue stained eye lids in search of darkness, all i ever find is light.

Notes: 4 / 1 week ago

Might get a job as an elementary school tutor.
yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Notes: 2 / 1 week ago

It doesn’t have to be beautiful

But most of the time it usually is

Notes: 3 / 1 week ago

See you.

See… I look up.
I look up into your eyes now,
Just like I always used to.

And… and you’ll look back at me.
But not like you used to.
There is a hostility in your soul now, just a little bit.
And if it isn’t enough that I can see it,
- see the redness and the anger -
I can feel it.

It’s awful, you know?
That the connection between two hands can be cut by a blade of pain so thin that we didn’t see it, only felt it.

I just hope that the next time you look at me,
You reconsider the glow in your eyes.
They used to glow for me.
But now they only glow at me.
But… I’ll keep looking up,
Just like I always do.